I gave you that empty piece in me
but my heart didn’t quite make the cut.
I’m sorry I deceived you, friend
I’m so sorry I lied
it’s time I stopped spreading this wound
or at least time that I tried.
What is it that’s got me so caught up
in replacing what I lost so long ago?
and you there,
my glorified replacement;
I’m sorry that I hurt you,
friend.
I can’t love like I once did
because I’ve given you nothing with which to love.
I am the deciever
and you’ve fallen in my trap.
One lost love.
Two lost friends.
……………………………
Lots of thoughts make their way through my brain at the moment.
I had to write a small few of them down.
What has it become where one is more comfortable with sharing their innermost thoughts with the world before they’ll tell the only person they ever wanted to know?
Fuck.
Swearing feels good sometimes.
I went back and read through all of the things I have posted and said in the past. I see a lot of myself in my sister, and I realize we were not too different at the same age. It’s funny how people grow and change… even funnier how, of the 3 or 4 songs/videos I had posted… I am still in love with each song, and I still would stay up until 4am watching Everything Is Illuminated on YouTube.
Today I reminded myself of something that is reaffirmed everyday. Life is Beautiful.
It’s amazing what kind of thoughts surface on a meal break as I sit here eating the perfectly ripe banana.
Though I’ve checked up on it everyday. Hmm…
